just saw your last post. I really love that song.
I know you said in that post that you rarely give background about your songs, but I have been wondering for a while now if the song "you were mine" that, as you answered me, will be on your next record, if it was an answer to the J's song "I'm Yours".
I understand if it's a question too personal.
Anyway, until your next post :-)
"You Were Mine" was written last summer in London, after a 4 hour long ichat with an ex-boyfriend. At the end of it, he snuck in, "Oh yeah..and by the way..I am dating someone.."
From time to time, I like to imagine myself being removed from scenarios. Watching myself, from outside myself, as if my life were playing like a movie. I like to feel what it would feel like if it wasnt me in that situation, if i was just observing it, if someone was sharing the story with me…what kind of advice would I give myself? Would I really think to take it so personal?
In this case, I was trying to be happy for my ex, but I was confronted with this feeling of, “how dare he!” followed by, “whatever, people break up, they date other people, what do you expect…”
But it was just a weird moment, hearing those words come my way…”Im dating this girl…shes really great..” I was really being present in the moment. In those words, and how they made me feel. Especially from someone I had entertained the idea of marriage, kids and forever with.
Looking back, I realize that is great to try on the future with everyone you date. Like an article of clothing, you never know how its gonna fit until you try it on. I always love to go for it, and not hold back. Even if it doesnt work out. I like to play the game of love full out.
When that song came to me, it took about 5 minutes and it was done. I didnt really think much of it. The original of it was really slow and sad…But the guys at Kensaletown, (where I made my last record, and where I will be returning in September!) turned it into this breezy little bittersweet number, I couldnt think of any production more fitting.
Its one of my favorites, and you can look for it on the next record :)
Thanks for submitting this question! Lotsa Love. TP x
This is a great submission, Thank you Jane :) Im adding a pic to go with it too, hope you dont mind! :) x
It is a great ability to be able to unscramble what is important in this life. Life is not your job, life is not your wealth in monetary values. Life is giving LOVE and serving others. Love is giving of yourself, when that is all you have to give. - Jane
Btw.. does anyone else find that word extremely interesting right now? Cupboard.
I mean, where does that word come from?
Wiki Wiki…definition please: *POOF!*
"The term cupboard was originally used to describe an open-shelved side table for displaying plates, cups and saucers. These open cupboards typically had between one and three display tiers, and at the time, a drawer or multiple drawers fitted to them. The word cupboard gradually came to mean a closed piece of furniture."
Anyhow, while I was in the cupboard I found these great army stickers in my arts and craft box, and I also found some stray extra envelopes…Who needs a letter? I always like sending one sentence letters, telling people how awesome they are. My brother has one on the way!
At that moment, my door knocked.”Hi Mom!!”
I immediately thought, “Shit, I should have lit a candle…does it smell in here?” She immediately noticed all the wheat grass in a blender on the counter, and in a slow motion manner I spilled the beans, “I was gonna juice the grass! But… I decided to smoke it instead…!” She got a kick out of that, and offered up the other half of a leftover burger in her car. Bless you mama. So glad you lived it up in the 60’s.
I sent my mom on her way with a jar full of fresh wheat grass, and opted instead to make myself an epic dinner; a Sunrider Vita Cocoa Shake, blended with hemp milk & fresh made almond butter! Yum…
I did a couple circles around the house, trying to focus on what I was doing next, and then ‘Hello’ came on the shuffle. Instead of skipping it, I savored my milkshake connoction and listened.
It wasnt too long ago I wrote that song, also under the spell of the grass, after a long IM chat with a very cute, and unavailable boy. That was one of those songs that came out of nowhere. I remember after I wrote it, being like, “Dang…!”
Lately, I have been a little stuck (whatever that means). I want to write a new song so bad.
I think what I’m craving is that feeling of overwhelemed emotion, flirting with inspiration, in a hot and heavy heated make out session where time stands still and a song baby is born. Its like when you meet a boy/girl and something just takes over, everything clicks and its easy…and when it does, its usually the best. Forced anything, is never very fun.
Besides, I dont know what I’m in such a frenzy about…I have nearly 22 songs ready for recording…and those are just my top picks.
What can I say, im in love with song writing, and im in love with all of you.
Lately, Ive been getting the itch to sing my heart out, while traveling this great planet. In the mean time, Ive gone a bit stir crazy in my house!
Thank for being patient with me, I cant wait to see you all this fall!
I rarely give background on songs…and recently caught some slack for being TO open about my current relationship.
In regards to that, Ive always been fully self expressed, no matter who I was dating. Anyone that has been following me for some time now, knows that. Ive dated a lot of people, and just cause im dating the new version of an old boyfriend. Im not going to not share if I am feeling in the mood to share! I love writing about it. I have learned more from this relationship, than anything I have ever experienced!
I’ve never felt because of what I do, that I need to hold back. If I didnt play music for a living and have tons of fans following me, I would still be writing and sharing the same shit. After all, this is life, each one of us get a path to play, laugh, love and dance on. Our experiences are unique and I really belive we can learn a lot from each other through this kind of transparent sharing.
I love putting myself out there. You never know what might happen, you might get a round of applause or a smack in the face!
So here we go…Someone recently asked if a song of mine “Something Good” was gonna be on the next record. To be honest, I had forgotten about this song. Then a number of people asked where they could hear this song. So I just dug it up and gave it a listen and WOW, did it bring back a lot of memories!
I wrote this song when J and I broke up, nearly 4 years ago. He actually tried to break up with me, but I resisted. I’ll never forget being backstage, he was opening for the Rolling Stones at the time, and I was CRYINGGG my eyes out in one of the big semi trucks. His Mom was there, Mick Jagger was there, and I was there… covered in snot…Shiza.
He eventually came and found me, and I cant remember how the conversation went, but we werent breaking up afterall. Time passed, and things were good, but then I found myself restless. One day I caught myself snapping at his bestfriend/roomates for “not doing anything with their lives..” And then one day, I had a realization; This isnt about my boyfriends friends, this is about me! What am I doing with my life??? I need to live, date, love, establish my career, and live on my own!!!!
Well, that realization scared the shit out of me. Here I was, 24 years old, I thought I found the love of my life, thought we were gonna get married, thought i was gonna be a young mom. Thought it would all be perfect. And here I was, realizing that whole plan, that looked sooooo good, wasnt even what I wanted.
Cut to Valentines day. Him on tour in England, Me on tour in Vienna, Virginia. One phone call, and a break up later, just like that. We ended it.
In my heart, I knew it was the right thing. I knew that I needed to go live on my own. I needed to experience more relationships. I wanted to grow up, at my own pace, on my own schedule.
I wanted to really be sure that when I did finally settle down, I could look back through my life like a big giant scrapbook and be overjoyed with all the amazing moments, places, feelings and people I experienced, knowing all of it shaped me and prepared me for the day when i would honor a lifetime committment of listening, trusting and loving someone.
I also was struggling with the dating someone in the spotlight. As a musician, who had just started playing music, I needed to know if people actually liked my music, aside from the fact that I was so and so’s girlfriend.
So off I went, and at first I was fine, and it didnt even hurt…But then slowly, it felt like someone was twisting a knife into my heart. The feelings that come with breaking up someone, especially your first love, are intense. The other night at a show, I realized the anticipation of being with someone and the heartbreak you feel after you have been with them, the missing of them, are one in the same. They are like the bookends of love. And what a beautiful thing to love someone so complete. To experience all those emotions about them.
Last night, driving home. I was wondering where and when do we start to develop all these pre-conceived notions about how dating is supposed to go, how relationships are supposed to be, what the woman is responible for, or what the man needs to be doing. It seems like we are growing out of all that. If you like someone let them know. Whatever comes up for you, however much you can give, be honest. However you are feeling, express it. If you are scared that what you might say, might scare that person away. Then you really should say it, cause that almost always means you are painting this picture of what someone wants you to be, and you already know you are about to shatter it by revealing the real you.
Be the real you, fight for what you believe in, honor your love. Along the way, your heart might get broken, embrace it, its all part of the learning. Along the way, you might hurt someone, and it might be intentional or unintentional, but embrace that also, and learn from it. All of life is such a learning experience.
We walk, run, stumble, fall, laugh and cry through life, in family, with friends, in love…Every opportunity that comes up for us on our path is there for a reason.
My good friend Bushwalla reminded me of one of my favorite sayings last week, “Lean into the discomfort”. I have a lot, without even knowing it. However, as I get older, I find that I think I know everything and it should be all peachy, until something goes wrong, and I need to be reminded again… Lean into the discomfort…And know that as with everything, it too shall pass.
It took me almost 4 years to figure out what this song was about…But, here we are..Enjoy.
What kind of bike do you have? It looks wicked! I'm wanting to buy one soon but not sure what to get yet. A Bianchi is at the top of the list right now though.
My bike is random. I got it at a bike shop here in San Diego called Ocean Bikes. I have a Rahmen frame, shimano gears, and 2 wheels. Haha..thats about all I know. Oh and I have gold grip tape, white cages and hot pink straps.
My friend Adam, is a bike geek, so i brought him with me to help me out. He doesnt have a car and his only mode of transportation is a fixed gear bike. He is bad ass. He pretty much knows about everything bike.
I test road a lot of bikes, racing bikes, road bikes, touring bikes. The bike I picked, was the one bike, out of all the bikes I got on, that felt right, right when I hopped on it. It felt comfortable and smooth, i knew right when I jumped on it, it was my bike. Its been good to me ever since.
I dont know much about brands or components, except for what my fixie gear man friend tells me or the guys at the bike shop.
As with everything, when it comes to something I am just learning about, I generally go with my gut and what feels good to me…
After all, I have to remember, I picked out my first guitar because it was all black and I thought it was pretty…
I am thankful for being in a relationship that allows me to spend 24/7 with my partner. I often think about people that only see their partner in the early morning, evenings and weekends. Sometimes I long for routinely relation-shipping.
With us both being home, spending time is easier now than it is when we are both on tour, but even still we have our obstacles. First off, we lives 40 minutes away from each other. In the beginning there was a lot of dates and pick ups and meeting to surf and such, but as the relationship unfolded and comfort levels increased, we both stopped making ourselves wrong about wanting to see each other every 5 seconds.
After a brief trip to New Orleans to survey the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, I think one of the biggest realizations we both had was; the process of getting America off oil starts with making changes to reduce our dependence on it, in our everyday lives. We needed to make a change regarding the amount of driving we were doing back and forth to see each other, sometimes even taking 2 cars to the beach so one of us would have easier faster access home, etc…
I volunteered to pack up my toothbrush and work from J’s house for a couple days, telling him and myself that he was more busy than I, hes been busy getting all his new songs ready before he makes another album. I am still laying pretty low, healing my voice of a cyst that calls my vocal chord home. In a round about way, being stuck on the farm would be really great, since there’s never anyone here, there wouldn’t be a lot of talking, tons of peace and almost too much quiet. It would keep me focused on writing, reading, playing guitar and returning emails. I realize that at my house, I am way more accessible to everything. And therefore, way more distracted.
I would have to say, the most amazing part of this relationship, which is the biggest difference from when we dated in the past, is the level of attachment. Im not talking about attachment like attached at the hip/connection kind of attachment, but attachment in the way of possessiveness or control. There is hardly any. From the beginning of this reunion. We choose each other. And on a daily basis still, we choose each other, for who we are and who we aren’t. (As Im typing this, I become aware that I am speaking for J, but I can continue on knowing that if he read this he would agree).
The way our reunion happened, and the events that surrounded it, are probably not the way in which I would have chosen for it to unfold. But such is life. In the experience there is a lesson, in heartbreak there is healing and in the end everything that happens to us, was never not gonna happen. The events that lead up to certain things, is just how the story goes, and the story is just that, a story.
If you follow your heart, you will land exactly where your supposed to be.
The more you focus on something, your manifestation powers will activate. So be careful what you wish for, or what you fear for, because it just might happen. The fear part is something I think a lot of us fail to realize we are ever actually doing. For example, I had a friend that was so worried about his girlfriend being “to good for him”, he was always worried she was gonna wake up one day and realize she could do better…and one day, she did. When they broke up, he kept saying “I knew this was gonna happen…” I kept trying to tell him, “Don’t you see, you created the space for her to step into?” A lot of the times we focus so much on the things we are afraid of happening to us, we manifest them into reality! Try that one on!
Anyhow, after a productive morning of meetings, emails and new music mix downs, J was finally ready to head to the beach. My morning was a little on the unproductive side, and I was starting to feel the effects of being on the farm for the last 4 days. I had only planned on being there for 1 night, and biking home..but I kept making excuses to be lazy and stay but. I notice a pattern sometimes where I neglect my own needs. I spread myself too thin, I extend my capacity for patience a little too far…almost to the point where I start to get a little bitchy and build a cute little cottage of resentment within. The moment I felt my attitude starting to show, J asked how I was feeling? Within seconds I just blurted it all out.
I am quick to put him first. Put aside my needs. I Put things off. When he is away, I have my schedule. I go to the gym. I go to yoga. I write music. I hang with my girlfriends. When he comes home, all those things go out the window. Its like I make up his life is more important than mine. Im quick to cater, cause I know our time is limited. I wonder, when I start to get busy, leave to make my record, go on tour, will he have the capacity to sacrifice some of his activities to be there for me? Or will it all just fizzle out? (Do you see now, how I am manifesting this?! Ackk! Self manifesabatoge at its finest! BLECH!)
As I am rambling on and on..he is listening. He is holding space. He is being amazing. The rambling continues, as i bring up various topics, and random bits of things here and there. I am venting big time. I am even crying a little bit. And all the while, he is just letting me get it all out. Hes not even responding, hes just rubbing my back, taking it all in. He doesn’t take anything that I am saying personal, he doesn’t make anything mean anything. And as i finish, he lets the last of this congested moment pass. He says great, do you have any requests of me? What do you need? How can I help you? How can I cater to you?
And in that moment, I thought to myself, you just did.
I already knew what I was feeling, I just needed to vent, and I just needed someone to listen. Listen without the intention of solving something. Just listening for the sake of listening. And you know what? I’ll probably get my period in 2 days, look back on this and laugh…
Later in surfing, I realized how amazing that experience was. For me to one, be aware of my feelings, and to know I needed a little me time. And two, to be able to just come out and say everything I was feeling and know that my partner wasn’t gonna judge me or take anything personally. I also realized, by J not reacting and just listening, it gave me a chance to listen to WHAT I WAS SAYING and then GO BACK WITHIN MYSELF and work it out. All the while knowing I had his love and support. I have never been in a relationship like this before! Holy shit.
Being able to be fully transparent in a relationship is something that is new for me. In the past, I have always had a wall up, I always get stopped. But I feel like for once in my life, I have this attitude like, “Well shit, an earthquake might come and level my whole life, so I better just dive in”.
Im so not into manifesting negativity, and so i wont. I will go slow, and proceed with love.
Hi Tristan !
Hope you are doing well :-).
When I first discovered your music, about a year ago, there was a incredible song on your myspace that I can't find anymore "you were mine". So I was wondering is this song going to be on your next record (pretty please, say yes !!!).
And just so you know, you inspire me. I really look up to you.
And if you ever need a tour guide in Paris, don't hesitate ! haha.
Yep, You Were Mine. It will be on the next record :) I love that one! Stoked you like it too! xo
How does it feel to travel the world...?
What is it like to catch a wave...?
How does the Ice Cream taste with a fork...? :D
To the travel the world feels like you are complete. If I died tomorrow, or never traveled again, I would be content with my life. I have seen so much, experienced so many cultures, met so many wonderful amazing people. I feel blessed, lucky, and really fortunate that travels are apart of my path.
Catching a wave feels like walking on water. To be in tune with something so much bigger than yourself is truly a humble feeling. Its something you never get sick of, something you cant really explain unlesss you experience it. From the day I caught my first wave, I never looked back, I surf almost every day when Im home. I recommend trying it once in your life :)
Ice Cream is amazing with a fork. Maybe its the fact that more air gets in there. I dont know. But its the only way I eat my ice cream. I love it.
Replaying the many conversations I had with local families and business owners.
Apologizing every day, to the Gulf of Mexico, for the oil that is STILL after nearly 80 days spilling into the ocean.
Present to how lucky we are on the west coast, to have clean beaches, sand and warm water this time of year.
Asking myself, what do I really need? When it comes down to it, what are the necessities?
How can I be an example within my community?
Im tired of complaining or giving “a look” to my fellow neighbors.
I am responsible for the trash on the beach, the plastic bags at the super market check out, the plastic bottle in the trash can, the styrofoam take out container from my local restaurant and the H2 Hummer pulling through the fast food drive-thru.
I’ll be the one to educate and spread sustainability throughout my community.