Happy 2010 everyone!
I still cant get it right? I am stuck in 12/09. Anyone else having a hard time remembering to write 2010 on things? Its kinda crazy right? The closing of a decade. I am also having a hard time saying that. Who really knows when all of everything really started. Who’s to say the beginning of the earth began with a ‘zero’. Doesn’t it makes more sense to just say, it started there, when whoever it was, decided to start keeping track of time. Somedays I wish i could watch the beginning of it all.
I was watching an episode of Planet Earth the other day, and there was this crazy bird that poofs out its feathers like a skirt and does this mating dance. The bird was incredible, hilarious actually. And I thought to myself, ‘Where did this thing come from? How did it evolve? Its so fascinating to me.
They say sooner or later the earth is gonna get to crowded, water will run out, our oceans will be polluted, food supplies poisoned, everything is headed down hill. I hear peers talking about how they don’t want kids, because they don’t want to leave this big ‘mess’ for their children to clean up. I try not to get discouraged, Ive wanted kids since I was 24. I like to look at it in that our children are our only hope. We have this chance to raise a person into the world, and teach it how to constantly vibrate change and hope. I totally believe we can reverse this whole thing. But you never know what might happen. The whole world could dissipate into a cloud tomorrow.
Today, I ate everything. God, I ate the weirdest things!! I have been feeling a bit sick too, with a little cold. I usually never have an appetite when I’m sick, but today I ate so random. This morning I made breakfast potatoes with onions, rosemary, and olive oil. Then I made an acai smoothie with blueberries, bee pollen, vitamineral green, earth, maca, hemp milk and goji berry juice. Then my man cake brought over some soup and a vegan carrot cake muffin thing. So I ate the soup with some toast and earth balance and half the carrot cake thing. I was still kinda hungry. I nibbled on baby corn and some fava beans. Later on my roomie came home and had this delicious vegan polenta lasagna that she got from the dinner party she went to. I picked at that for a quick minute, and then we went to the movies. There I had some popcorn. When we got home I had a craving for hot cocoa, so I made some mexican hot cocoa, with hemp milk, cinnamon, cayenne, agave, and cocoa powder. Then I had some rice crispy treat, some chocolate, and then a cracker with some cheese on it.
And, Im not even stoned. I swear.
Tricia is in the other room organizing her things, she leaves for India in a couple days. She has hardly anything, its pretty inspiring. She has only key things she needs for India, they all fit into a backpackers backpack, and then only 3 bins of items that she is keeping in storage. I look around my house, at all this ‘stuff’ i’ve acquired. That I’ve justified buying, needing, even plain and simple, wanting. Im not sure what it means, some of the stuff means the world to me. Like the picture of my grandma from the navy, the art pieces that my dad has made from scratch, the old clocks from my grandfather, vintage jewelry that I’ve bought at numerous antique stores on the road. Then there are things like clothes, shoes, furniture, I am just kinda like ahh…these things. Over the coarse of the last couple months, I have been tossing a lot. Taking tons of stuff to goodwill. I feel like i’m cleaning out my life, like I am getting ready to go somewhere. I’m not even sure if its a ‘physically’ going somewhere, or just making room for where I’m going spiritually in life, in my head, with my thoughts.
But the more I look around, I am noticing that the things that are left, that I’ve kept, are all really special to me. My parents still to this day, keep everything, let nothing go to waste, so I think I get my pack rack ways from them. But really when I look around, I realize I am eliminating the clutter, the things that take away from the things that really make me happy and continuously inspire me. It makes me want to keep eliminating, until there is nothing but great space and memories of good time and great people. I like that.
At the same time, I am finding that I am not super attached to a lot of these things and that feels good. By letting go of the things that are no longer of use to me. I realize that I dont even miss them, which makes me realize, though I’d probably be pretty heart broken, if I ever lost the things that mean the world to me, I would be able to move forward and start from scratch, no problem. At the end of the day, if you are good with yourself, you are good. Period.
All the other stuff is just well,…stuff.